The season of extended nights,
Covers the earth's land with pure white.
Brings to children immense delight,
When unraveling gifts under the Light.
Away with flowers that bring thee happiness,
Away with leaves of bright vivid boldness.
Replaced by day's newly found coldness,
Replaced by nights sustained murky darkness.
Nice poem. It is so happy. I think you should make it longer and give it a more complete closure. It feels like you were rushing through the peom. Good start. XD
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree with Jia Jia. Add a few more stanzas. Very creative four line rhymes. :D
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jia Jia and Henley. It's a nice poem, but i think you should make it longer also. I think you could win the golden snowflake if you add more, but it's a really good start.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments. I would make it longer but I've ran out of ideas. Care to help me out?
ReplyDelete